Found Stuff

Hehe, some excellent names for eating houses in the pics below.  You couldn’t write this stuff

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Some pics sent to us today in an email, not all funny, some just cute.

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These pics all have a website stamped across them, so only fair we provide a link to Fropki which is a forum you may enjoy reading around. Lots of funny and interesting pics, jokes, etc to be read.

Hehe, I still think the expression on THIS dog’s face is priceless

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This has gotta be one of the worst ways to die I have ever heard……

As reported in The Straits Times (Singapore), a vietnamese worker and two colleagues who went to his aid suffocated to death inside a vat of fish sauce, police and news reports said on Monday.

The accident happened Saturday at a fish sauce plant in Cam Ranh township of coastal Khanh Hoa province.

One worker got into trouble after climbing in to fix a pipe, prompting his co-workers to try to rescue him, the Nong Nghiep (Agriculture) Vietnam newspaper reported.

All three died on the spot, it said.

Police were still investigating the deaths, the policeman told AFP.

Vietnamese fish sauce, a widely-used condiment, is made from a mix of anchovies and salt which is left to distil for more than a year in three-metre-high (10-feet-high) wooden vats.{{/linkXL}}

{{linkXL}}Instructions

Magic Towers Solitaire is a fun, more skillful version of the classic Tri Peaks card game.

The object of the game is to clear three peaks made up of cards to win a round. Try to win as many rounds as possible to build up your score.

You must place cards from the layout onto the card that is showing at the bottom. Only cards that are one lower or one higher can be placed here. The Ace is both high and low. If you cannot place any cards from the layout onto the showing card, click the next card button or the wild card. Read the rest of this entry »

An American tourist goes on a trip to China.

Whilst in China, he is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple bumps.  Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like it before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days.

The man returns in a couple of days, and the doctor says “I have some bad news.  You’ve contracted Mongolian VD.  It’s very rare and almost unheard of here,  we know very little about it”.

The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well give me a shot or something and fix me up doc”.

The doctor answers, “Sorry, there is no known cure.  We are going to have to amputate your penis”.

The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not!  I want a second opinion!”

The doctor replies, “Well, it’s your choice.  Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice”.

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The next day the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring he will know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah yes, Mongolian VD, Vely lare disease”.

The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do?  My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, “Stupid American docta, always want to opelate.  Make more money that way…… No need to opelate!”

“Oh, thank god”, the man replies.

“Yes”, says the Chinese Doctor, “You no worry.  Wait two weeks, fall off by itself.  You save money!”

A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her 5 year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now. because this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train cause we’re going down the tracks.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now, I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language!”

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say. “All passengers, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon!”

She heard her little darling continue. “For those of you just boarding, remember there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”

As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

An elementary school class started a class project to make planters to take home to their parents….

They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use Cactus Plants.

The students were each given green-ware pottery plants in the shape of clowns, which they painted with glaze.

The clown planters were then professionally ‘fired’ on a class outing, allowing the students to see the whole process.  All agreed the day out was great fun.

They planted Cactus seeds in their new planters, and they started to grow, so the project was working very well.

The problem came once they were fully grown and it came time to take the planters home.  It was decided that they might not be the most apropriate thing for the children to arrive home with, and the Cactus plants were removed, to be replaced with a small Ivy.

The teacher said that the Cactus plants seemed the perfect choice at the beginning !

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THE PLANTERS

Well, it was a close run thing this year.

Congratulations to Britney & Paige, this years winners, all the way from sunny Florida…..

And a special mention for Gloria, runner up, from Wolverhampton…

Following the popularity (apart from a few anal retentives who are bored with the whole ‘Motivational Posters’ craze online) of our first collection of Motivational Posters, we have compiled this second selection from all those we have been emailed.  Enjoy, and if you don’t like MP’s, just click away

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And let’s not forget to have a little slagging at the French while we are at it

Please don’t forget to give us the ‘thumbs up’ in Stumbleupon, and all the usual stuff

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Excellent advice from our friends over at GRD Credit Control Services, thanks

The story

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever ‘Eastern European’ scam while out shopping.

Simply dropping into my local supermarket for a bit of shopping has turned out to be quite traumatic.

Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking voluptuous 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen, their large firm young breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It’s impossible not to look especially with all the rain we have been having.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they’ll say “No” and instead ask you for a lift to another store, in my case, Morrisons in Fishponds. You agree and they both get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing and both get completely naked. Then, when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately and thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, and 29th. Also June 1st, 4th, twice on the 6th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this coming weekend.

So be warned!

Geoff

P.S. Lidl have wallets on sale for £1.99 each, Aldi are £1.75 and look nicer.