David & Victoria Beckham Jokes
A few emailed to us over the weekend, and thought we’d share them 
David at the Olympics
David Beckam was heading off to the Olympics in Bejing.
A reporter asked if he was taking Chopsticks with him, he said “No, she’s staying at home with the kids”
David in Germany
The England national team were assembling for a game against Germany.
David Beckham asked a coach “Where is Michael Owen?”
The Coach replied “He has gone to get a Tetanus Injection.”
“Oh”, replies David, “I might just buy a new car myself while I am here.”
The Jigsaw
David Beckham is running around the house like something demented, shouting “Victoria, only 45 days, only 45 days!”
“What is that David?” Victoria asks.
“This jigsaw I have been doing. I completed it in 45 days!”
“Is that good honey?” asks Victoria.
“You bet it is, it says on the box 3-5 years!”
David & Victoria betting on the news
Posh and Becks are sitting in front of the television watching the six o’clock news. The main story is a man threatening to jump off the bridge.
Posh turns to Becks and says: “David, I bet you 5,000 that he jumps!”
To which Beckham replies “5,000? Done! I bet that he doesn’t.” so they shake hands on the bet and continue watching. Sure enough, the man jumps and hits the road below with a loud thud. Beckham takes 5,000 out of his back pocket and hands it to Posh but she refuses it.
I can’t take your money, David,” she says. “The truth is, I was cheating. I saw the five o’clock news, so I knew he was going to jump.”
“No, babe, fair’s fair” says David. “That money is yours fair and square I was cheating Just as you were. I saw the five o’clock news, too. I just didn’t think he would do it again.”
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The Poor Cow
Victoria Beckham was being chauffeured along the country roads in England one day, when a cow ran onto the road and the car hit it. The cow died instantly, and Victoria was quite upset.
She asked her driver to go to the nearest farmhouse, explain to the farmer what had happened, apologise and offer to pay for the cow.
The driver arrived back about 2 hours later, looking a little the worse for wear, with a bottle in one hand and a cigar in the other.
Victoria asked him what had happened.
The driver said “It was amazing. The farmer gave me this bottle of whiskey, his wife gave me this cigar. then his beutiful daughter took me upstairs and made passionate love to me.”
“What did you tell them to cause this?”
“I simply told them that I am Victoria Beckham’s driver, and I have just killed the cow!”
Fast Food
David Beckham is walking down the street in LA one day, with his son Brooklyn.
He passes a fast food outlet, with a large sign outside saying ‘Free Big Mac’
David turns to Brooklyn and says “I wonder why, what did he do?”
Homework Help
Brooklyn is stuck on his maths homework.
“Dad,” he yells, “will you help me with my homework?”
“I don’t know, son,” says David. “It wouldn’t really be right, now, would it?”
“Probably not, Dad,” replies Brooklyn. “But have a go anyway.”
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